Have pity for the princess
who never got her story told,
too large for a fairytale,
For no prince would climb such a colossus.
No little girls lined up to buy her dress,
nor were there any dolls made in her image.
The girls that might have seen themselves
in her were too afraid to look anyway.
No dragon necessary to guard her loin;
every prince was conditioned to recoil
at the size of this Frankendamsel.
She consulted every alchemist
and walked everywhere she could
to break her spell,
but alas; she was doomed with
an eternally uncontrollable affliction-
That drove her mad because people blamed her for existing.
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